As you may recall from my last Blog, I met Katherine. Here is the rest of the story.
She was a people-pleaser who put the needs of others ahead of her own. Over time this took a serious toll on her mental and physical health and her relationships with others and eventually, without a word, she packed a bag and moved away.
"The truth is" she told me, "You can run away from others, but you can't run away from yourself”. She tried to blame everyone else for her misery, and did not recognize the fact that the problem was hers and that no one else was to blame.
"I discovered that because of my low self-esteem that I didn't have any boundaries. I thought that if I said "no" to others that I was somehow a bad person. I couldn't risk the thought that someone might get mad at me or not like me, so I let everyone else rule my emotions and sense of self-worth. I also discovered that I don't need to prove my worthiness to others, as God made for his purpose, not theirs.”
She did not come to this realization or start making changes in her behaviors over night and she admits that she is still a work in process, but through the support of new found friends, her Pastor and prayer, she is on the road to recovery.
Living a life without healthy personal boundaries in our relationships can be self-destructive. If you have healthy boundaries, you:
- Say yes or no without guilt, anger or fear
- Refuse to tolerate abuse or disrespect
- Love and respect yourself
- Know the difference between your problem and that of someone else - and refuse to take on the other person’s problem
- Have a strong sense of and accept yourself
- Share responsibility with others
- Feel freedom, security, peace, joy and confidence
Psalm 139:14 - I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know full well.
“Katherine”, the nurse called from across the room. Katherine waved her hand in the air and as she stood up she looked at me with a smile and wink. I watched as she bounced across the room, her long skirt swirling softly as she disappeared with the nurse through the waiting room door.
Left to wait alone, I was struck once again with how God uses each of us to connect at various times, in unexpected places, in a way that can change the way we look at life forever. Katherine shared the gift of her experience and provided inspiration for this blog. I pass this gift on to you.
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