A God Moment

2 Corinthians 5:6-8 (NKJV) - ⁶ So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. ⁷ For we walk by faith, not by sight. ⁸ We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.

My friend Jill refers to the story that I am about to tell you as a “God Moment”, but I will let you decide.  I think that we all have “God Moments” but we don’t always recognize them as such.  

My story starts two years ago when we rented a house in Pacific Grove for our vacation. During the drive, Patrick and I stopped in Morro Bay to stretch and eat the picnic lunch that I had packed. We walked on the beach and then around town for a a little while. On that day, just like so many others before it I was wearing the precious, beautiful cross that Jill brought to me from Czechoslovakia. When I wore the cross it reminded me that God is always with me and protects me from harm, so I wore it almost everyday and always when I traveled away from home. 

When I got back into the car, I looked down and the chain around my neck had broken and my beautiful cross was gone!   Patrick and I looked everywhere, retracing our steps even in the sand.  We scoured the car on that day and again when we got home to unpack in hopes that it dropped into some  crevice.  To no avail.  I was heartbroken and so ashamed that I lost such a beautiful gift that I couldn’t bear to tell Jill about it.  Finally, I thought that perhaps God did not want me to be so attached to a material thing.  It’s just that it mean’t so much to me and represented a gift of friendship and a constant reminder of God’s love and grace.  

We have cleaned the car on a regular basis in the last two years and slowly my hope of finding my precious cross faded.  I resolved that perhaps God wanted someone else to have it who needed it more.   

Last week as we were making final preparations for our trip to Bodega Bay.  Patrick came in from washing the car, sweaty and with a big grin on his face. As he approached me, he extended his hand to me and opened his fist. There in the palm of his hand was my long lost precious cross!  I cried tears of joy and relief as I snatched it out of his hand.  To me this was a miracle, as I thought it was lost forever. 

Two hours later, Dr. H called me to tell me the results of my MRI.  He said that there is definitely a tumor that shouldn’t be there on my inner thigh and that it will need to be surgically removed.  He told me to go on vacation and in the meantime he will make arrangements with a surgeon.  There is no clarity yet if the tumor is benign or malignant, but he was relieved to see that the tumor was not attached to the muscle, which in his experience is a nasty form of cancer.  He also said that the lymph nodes in my groin area look normal, also a good sign.

While I still do not have full reassurance from the doctors, I think that it is interesting that God chose this date for Patrick to find my cherished cross. I think that God gives us what we need when we need it, so we can comprehend more clearly his message. I know that it is symbolic, but I feel like he gave me back the cross to remind me of his love for me and to reassure me that everything will be okay.  I wore the cross the rest of the day, I am wearing it now and will wear it everyday until my surgery.  

With my current job situation and now this, my faith is clearly being tested.  For now, I will reach out in faith to touch the garment of Jesus.  I will try to do as he instructs and walk by faith and not by sight. 

Matthew 9:20-22 (NKJV) ²⁰ And suddenly, a woman who had a flow of blood for twelve years came from behind and touched the hem of His garment. ²¹ For she said to herself, “If only I may touch His garment, I shall be made well.” ²² But Jesus turned around, and when He saw her He said, “Be of good cheer, daughter; your faith has made you well.” And the woman was made well from that hour.

Finding Peace

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. 

As you may recall from my last Blog, I met Katherine.  Here is the rest of the story. 

She was a people-pleaser who put the needs of others ahead of her own.  Over time this took a serious toll on her mental and physical health and her relationships with others and eventually, without a word, she packed a bag and moved away.  

"The truth is" she told me, "You can run away from others, but you can't run away from yourself”.  She tried to blame everyone else for her misery, and did not recognize the fact that the problem was hers and that no one else was to blame.  

"I discovered that because of my low self-esteem that I didn't have any boundaries. I thought that if I said "no" to others that I was somehow a bad person.  I couldn't risk the thought that someone might get mad at me or not like me, so I let everyone else rule my emotions and sense of self-worth.  I also discovered that I don't need to prove my worthiness to others, as God made for his purpose, not theirs.”

She did not come to this realization or start making changes in her behaviors over night and she admits that she is still a work in process, but through the support of new found friends, her Pastor and prayer, she is on the road to recovery.

Living a life without healthy personal boundaries in our relationships can be self-destructive.  If you have healthy boundaries, you:

• Say yes or no without guilt, anger or fear
• Refuse to tolerate abuse or disrespect
• Love and respect yourself
• Know the difference between your problem and that of someone else - and refuse to take on the other person’s problem
• Have a strong sense of and accept yourself
• Share responsibility with others
• Feel freedom, security, peace, joy and confidence

Psalm 139:14 - I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know full well. 

“Katherine”, the nurse called from across the room.  Katherine waved her hand in the air and as she stood up she looked at me with a smile and wink. I watched as she bounced across the room, her long skirt swirling softly as she disappeared with the nurse through the waiting room door.

Left to wait alone, I was struck once again with how God uses each of us to connect at various times, in unexpected places, in a way that can change the way we look at life forever.  Katherine shared the gift of her experience and provided inspiration for this blog. I pass this gift on to you.

In Search of Peace

Philippians 4:4-7 (TNIV)  

 ⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

It is difficult to find peace in the midst of obligation, responsibility, uncertainty, demands and deadlines. Anxiety is a useful emotion that God gave us to alert and help protect us from danger. It serves a purpose in small doses and certain situations, but prolonged anxiety is unhealthy.  It effects our physical and mental health, our relationships and our financial wellbeing. 

Last week, I met Katherine (not her real name) during a long wait at the doctor’s office and she told me her inspiring story. As a teenager, Katherine was  a beautiful, cheerful and carefree young woman and today at the age of 30 she looks much older. Her face is drawn and tired from years of endless, needless worry and self-abuse.

Her friends called her “Kat Angel" because she always worked so hard to do things for others, putting aside her own needs in the process.  In reality, Katherine worried about everything in life.  She had two alarm clocks next to her bed to make sure that she got up on time, which was unnecessary since she generally woke up about a half an hour before the alarm went off.  Most nights she was lucky to get 4-5 hours of sleep.  Before leaving home, she checked the stove at least four times to make sure it was turned off and she checked the locks on the doors at least twice.  She paid each bill as it was received, because she did not want to take a chance of being late.  She arrived for every appointment at least thirty minutes earlier than scheduled and sometimes an hour.  But the worst of it is that she constantly worried about what people thought of her and if they liked her; strangers, family and friends alike. As a result, she worked tirelessly to try to please everyone.    

No one else in her life worried about anything because they knew that they could count on Katherine to take care of each situation. They became so accustomed to how she took care of them that they soon took her granted. Her gift of helping turned into expectation, obligation and responsibility.  Her shoulders became rounded and she was physically hunched over from carrying the weight of their burdens.  

Secretly she started to use drugs and alcohol to reduce her chronic physical and emotional pain. Finally, she became so resentful that one day she simply walked away. Actually, she moved away, with a suitcase of clothing, her small life savings and without a word to anyone.  

Next week she will reunite with her family after a two-year absence. She told me that she is a changed person and now ready to reunite with them.  I asked her, “How did you do it?  How did you change”? 

Tune in next week to hear about her remarkable transformation.  

In the meantime, if you are feeling anxious, start by following the advice of Paul written from a Roman prison.  By prayer, petition and thanksgiving, turn your requests over to God.  He will lift your burdens and give you peace.  

“When one door of happiness closes, another one opens: but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”   Helen Keller